What I learned from returning to work during COVID-19.

It has been a little over a week since I returned to my office and though it didn’t show, I felt a bit of anxiety about returning.

I can’t quite explain it but I didn’t have any expectations yet I had no clue what to expect. As I prepared my clothes and bag in the days leading up to my return, a million and one “what ifs” ran through my mind.What if I get infected? What if they haven’t sanitized the place? What if these positive cases skyrocket again? How am I going to engage with my clients? What if the medical staff had it?…I could go on and on but you catch my drift.

I wanted to share this experience with you because over the last few weeks I learned that a lot of people are battling silent, internal struggles as a result of Covid-19. I became ill a few weeks ago and shared a post about being too afraid to go to the emergency room. I vowed to only go the emergency room if the pain became too unbearable. My fear was that I’d go to the hospital with a treatable digestive disorder only to wind up on the Covid unit, or worse, in a body bag. I figured that as long as I could function (even if it was minimal), I was going to ride it out. That post resulted in tons of messages from friends, family members, and even strangers about their own fears. People expressed their fears of going to the supermarket, pumping gas, checking the mail, and opening their window for air. I thought that I was being extra only to find out that not only did people understand my fear but that they shared the same fears. Saying that things are going to be okay is as generic as asking someone how they’re doing when your paths cross everyday. The truth is that none of us know the outcome of Covid. What I can tell you is that its okay to to feel afraid, confused, angry, uncertain, anxious, depressed, etc. Experiencing emotions to a certain degree is healthy. Our emotions become unhealthy when we allow them to cripple us. For example, feeling a little anxious before a job interview is normal. If you get the job everything about your your current lifestyle from your schedule to your finances will change. Feeling anxious about not messing up the opportunity comes with the territory. On the other hand feeling so anxious that you don’t even bother to attend the interview is not so healthy. Feeling depressed after losing a loved one is a part of the grieving process. On the other hand, depression that results in suicidal thoughts or attempts needs to be treated.

I was anxious about returning to work but I did not let my fears hold me back. Before driving off that day I prayed on it and then turned on my music and vibed throughout my drive. As I approached my building, I noticed that everyone wore masks and that put me at ease because it let me know that they took the matter seriously and that they cared just as much about protecting my health as they did theirs. I had plans to lock myself in my office all day, avoiding everyone but the day turned out quite differently. We were happy to see each other, we caught up on lost time for a bit then proceeded to work as if nothing had changed. We even took the time to discuss our fears, cautions, and motivated one another. Before.I knew it I made it through my first day, then another, and another. This experience served as a real life example of the saying “feel the fear but do it anyway”.

I hope that you are able to return to work with ease. That you don’t fear the what ifs. That all of the possible negative outcomes become a mere figment of our imagination. If you’re like me, and have a bit of anxiety know that there is nothing wrong with feeling anxious. Know that you’re not alone, a lot of us share the same sentiments. Be brave, and be safe. Feel the fear but step out anyway. Whether it happens now or a few months down the line, society has to return to some level of normality. Just remember to implement all safety measures whenever you step out. Intentionally being negligent supports our fears and will only make matters worse.

I hope and pray that in sharing my own experience, I have encouraged and strengthened you.

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